새로운 도전…British jokes
I went to the airport to check in and they asked what I did because I looked like a terrorist. I said I was a comedian. They said, “Say something funny then.” I told them I had just graduated from flying school Ahmed Ahmed at C34
My dad is Irish and my mum is Iranian, which meant that we spent most of our family holidays in Customs. Patrick Monahan at the Gilded Balloon
You have to remember all the trivia that your girlfriend tells you, because eventually you get tested. She’ll go: “What’s my favourite flower?” And you murmur to yourself: “Shit, I wasn’t listening … Self-raising?” Addy Van-Der-Borgh at the Assembly Rooms
Got a phone call today to do a gig at a fire station. Went along. Turned out it was a bloody hoax. Adrian Poynton at the Pleasance
An American girl hit on me in a club and asked me to make her an Egyptian princess. So I threw a sheet over her head and told her to be quiet. Ahmed Ahmed at C34
Ask people about God nowadays and they usually reply, “I’m not religious, but deep down, I’m a very spiritual person.”
What this phrase really means is: “I’m afraid of dying, but I can’t be arsed going to church.” Colin Ramone at The Stand
I don’t need Viagra. I need a woman. Sol Bernstein, as played by Steve Jameson, at the Gilded Balloon
I was walking the streets of Glasgow the other week and I saw this sign: “This door is alarmed.” I said to myself: “How do you think I feel?” Arnold Brown at The Stand
How many members of U2 does it take to change a light bulb? Just Bono… he holds it and the world revolves around him. Al Pitcher at the Underbelly
